This marvellous book follows a week-long conversation between two dear friends when Desmond Tutu visited the Dalai Lama at his adopted home in India in 2015. Both have experienced immense hardship but are able to model amazing joy. Writer Douglas Abrams brings to life their conversations on how that’s possible in a beautiful, often lyrical way. We’re given an intimate view into Dharamsala, the Dalai Lama’s refuge since his escape from Tibet in 1959: “everywhere in Dharamsala were reminders that this was a community that had been traumatized by oppression and exile. The town clings to winding hillside roads, and craft stalls hang over the edges of sheer cliffs…. I wondered how these structures would fare in an earthquake, and feared that the whole city might be shaken off the back of these mountains like a leaf from a waking animal.” Chapter headings are often quaintly subtitled with quotations from the speakers, like “Frustration and Anger: I Would Shout,” where the Dalai Lama admits that in younger days he used to get angry. He explains that fear often underlies anger, and both are destroyers of a calm mind. You can train the mind to be calm and relaxed, and to see the other person in a challenging scenario as another human being made in the image of God, with their own fears and hurts. The book addresses a number of obstacles to joy, and then discusses eight “pillars” of joy: perspective, humility, humour, acceptance, forgiveness, gratitude, compassion, and generosity. It concludes with a series of meditation or prayer practices that can support a joyful life. I was fascinated with the Tibetan practice of tonglen, a meditation in a challenging situation where difficult emotions are received and loving emotions are returned. The Dalai Lama explains how he practiced it during the 2008 Tibetan uprising. He felt anxious when demonstrations began, as he believed they would only result in more suffering. “And that is exactly what happened, with the violent crackdown and the death and imprisonment of so many Tibetans who had participated in the process. Over the next few days, during my meditation, I actually visualized some of those Chinese local authorities and did one of our practices, called tonglen, literally meaning ‘giving and taking.’ I tried to take on their fear, anger, suspicion, and to give them my love, my forgiveness. Of course, this would have no physical effect on the ground. It would not change the situation. But you see, mentally, it was very, very helpful to keep a calm mind.” Other examples where tonglen was helpful were a hospital chaplain, overwhelmed at first with a family in crisis; and a Tibetan musician who had multiple surgeries after a serious collision. The musician often meditated on the pain of others and shared his compassion, rather than focusing on his own pain. He recovered completely. Religious practices are not at the forefront, but appear in a completely inclusive way. One morning, after joining the Dalai Lama in his daily meditation, Desmond Tutu leads the two in Holy Communion, sharing some bread and wine in memory of Jesus at the Last Supper. The Dalai Lama takes wine although his tradition does not normally permit it. The Archbishop jokes, “I still won’t let you drink and drive.” Communion is usually reserved for Christians, the second breach of tradition. Some Christian groups only allow those within their church to participate. Abrams comments, “like so many religious traditions it defines who is part of the group and who is not. This is one of the greatest challenges that humanity faces: removing the barriers between who we see as ‘us’ and who we see as ‘other.’” The Dalai Lama adds, “since 1975 I have been making pilgrimages to different religious traditions. Sometimes it takes a major disaster for followers of all different faiths to come together and see that we are the same, human brothers and sisters. I consider what we are doing today to be part of the same kind of pilgrimage.” Inclusiveness also arises when Desmond Tutu’s daughter Mpho proposes to her girlfriend during the trip: “the Archbishop had supported gay rights for decades. He famously had said that he would refuse to go to a ‘homophobic’ heaven.” Underlying all the wisdom offered here is the theme of compassion. Extending compassion to others and doing what we can to ease their suffering is shown as the essential gateway to joy. The Dalai Lama opines that today’s education focuses solely on “external, materialistic values” to the detriment of inner values. With more focus on values like compassion, “serious violence, mass killing, war, this we can eliminate if we have the proper vision and method.” How fitting that Vancouver hosts the Dalai Lama Center for Peace and Education. Many resources and programs there teach children “Heart-Mind learning,” involving social skills such as compassion. With the help of the University of British Columbia, the Centre has developed a Heart-Mind Index that measures the well-being of young children, focusing on five skills: getting along with others, being compassionate and kind, solving problems peacefully, being secure and calm, and being alert and engaged. The index is expected to provide valuable information to help target the needs of children. Any education on these topics will help future generations to live more compassionate, joyful lives. - Irene Plett Details: The Dalai Lama Trust, Desmond Tutu and Douglas Abrams, The Book of Joy: Lasting Happiness in a Changing World (2016: Penguin, ISBN 9780670070169), pages 17, 23, 29, 105, 118, 168, 182, 294, and 325. Topics: Peace, Compassion, Joy, Love, Dalai Lama, Desmond Tutu, Douglas Abrams, Dalai Lama Center for Peace and Education, Heart-Mind Index, Heart-Mind Learning, Tibet, India, Dharamsala, education, children
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WriterIrene Plett is a writer, poet and animal lover living in South Surrey, British Columbia, Canada. Categories
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